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Martin Lass - Astrology Library |
Beyond Life and Death
Healing the Wounds of Death and Loss
by Martin Lass (c) 1997
In the September skies this year (1997) two major astrological
events took place, both to do with Chiron, the Planet of Healing.
Firstly, Chiron reached its halfway point in the zodiac from the time it
was discovered in 1977. Secondly, it passed out of Libra and into
Scorpio for the second and final time. When it was discovered in 1977,
Chiron was in Taurus, the sign that has to do with the material world...
the tangible... the manifest... the earth plane. Scorpio, on the
other hand, is more to do with the spiritual world... the intangible...
the essence prior and subsequent to manifestation... the Spirit plane.
From another point of view, Scorpio is to do with death and rebirth, loss,
destruction and subsequent transformation.
Chiron, the Planet of Healing, initially indicates the place
of our greatest wounds, the place of our greatest missingness, our greatest
voids and our deepest pain. From here the journey of Healing is undertaken,
Chiron guiding all the way. With Chiron moving into Scorpio, we are being
given the chance to address old wounds concerning the pain of death and
loss. Issues around death and loss in our lives, past and present,
are likely to re-emerge during the next two years. With Chiron having
already touched Scorpio briefly at the beginning of this year and now to
remain for the next two years, we are already seeing a greater awareness
of, exploration of, fascination with and dwelling upon many varied reflections
of death, loss and destruction. Perhaps the most obvious indication
of this is in the spate of television programs with themes around death,
dying, murder and the supernatural... shows like "Millennium", "The X-Files"
and "Profiler", not to mention the more obvious themes around death, dying
and loss in all of the soap operas. Interestingly, as I write this
article, a local survey of the top 10 best-selling books of the moment
puts the Penguin "Book of Death" at No. 5.
Chiron's halfway point in the zodiac from the time of its discovery
in 1977 represents a major turning point for Humanity. A new paradigm
of healing is emerging in the world at this time. This halfway point
represents the passing from subjectivity to objectivity... from the internalising,
in this case, of private feelings of pain, loss and emptiness to a more
objective understanding and appraisal of past events and present circumstances.
Many unresolved and unhealed issues of the past will surface once more,
often in response to external events and circumstances of the present.
This will give us the chance to come to different understanding of these
issues, to heal them once and for all, to transcend our current level of
consciousness that keeps us trapped in these issues. Let's explore
the healing of the wounds of death and loss. Let's go beyond our
limiting paradigms around life and death, and come closer to the reality
of Unconditional Love that transcends space and time... not just as an
intellectual exercise, but as a potential real experience.
A Personal Experience
My father passed away in 1979. He was only 48 when he died
and hadn't yet come near to attaining the goals that he set himself in
his life... he was nipped in the bud, so to speak. Up until that
time I had often felt that he was never really there for me as a father.
Throughout his life he seemed to have great difficulty expressing the feelings
that were buried within him. In my perception he was very much tied
up with his work and with his relationship with my mother. Looking
back now, I begin to realise how hard I tried in my early years to attract
his attention in any way that I could. It was, in particular, through
music that I tried hardest. This has given me the Gift of a career
in music, which I love. When my father died, however, although I
wasn't conscious of it at the time, my primary driving force was taken
away from me. Unconsciously, I felt that the universe had betrayed
me and had betrayed my father by taking him before his time.
Looking back now I realise that this was only the beginning
of a new leg of my journey. From this point onwards I was driven
firstly by the fear, although unconscious, that I might die before accomplishing
what I had to accomplish in this lifetime, like my father. Secondly,
I began an unconscious search for something or someone to replace my father...
someone or something that would approve of me and acknowledge my Gifts
and talents. Lastly, it set me on a spiritual journey... the journey
in search of meaning, of connection and a return to Spirit. This
journey has spanned the better part of 20 years.
Thus it was, for many years, that I was driven by an unconscious
anger at and a sense of disconnection from the universe and Spirit.
In hindsight, I realise that this was my greatest Gift. It drove
me to seek the highest levels of meaning, connection and healing... it
drove me on a journey of discovery... who was I? Where had I come
from? Where was I going? And why was I here? I look back
now and marvel at the perfection of the bigger plan of my life... at the
guiding hand that has led me unwaveringly back towards Spirit, towards
healing, towards Oneness and towards Love. Without my father being
exactly the person that he was and without the exact circumstances of his
untimely death and the feelings that it brought up in me I would not be
the person that I am today. I would not have the Gifts and talents
that I have today. I would not have the same sense of connection
and meaning that I have today. I would not have striven for the degree
of wholeness, healing and return to Love that I have. I would not
now be in the position to be able to share the healing, understanding and
Love with others that I now do. I wouldn't be writing this article
if it had not been for everything that has occurred in my entire lifetime,
without exception... the 'goods' and the 'bads', the pleasures and the
pains, the births and the deaths, the gains and losses.
I realise now that when he died something was born in me.
I realise now that this illustrates a Universal Law... that with every
death there is a birth... that there cannot be destruction without equal
Creation... that nothing is ever truly lost... it is only the form that
changes. The essence or Spirit remains eternal, indestructible and
immortal. When I think back now to my father, my heart filled with
Gratitude and Love for the part that he played in my life, he is right
there is my Heart. His Spirit and his Love are within me, beyond
space and time. I realise now that in some form or other he was always
with me, driving me, seeking to reconnect with me and compelling me towards
the acknowledgement and experience of the reality of Unconditional Love.
In a state of Unconditional Love he is always with me now, not metaphorically,
but actually.
Transcending Illusions
Chiron's message in Scorpio, coming back to the beginning now,
is that our perceptions of loss, death, destruction and missingness all
Serve to take us on a journey... a journey that impels us towards the ultimate
acknowledgement and embracing of Spirit. Chiron says that the Gift
in the Wound consists in the opportunity for conscious awakening, for a
healing journey that ultimately leaves us more whole, more integrated,
more conscious and in a relatively greater state of Love. The whole
purpose of our descent into duality - into Darkness - is so that we may
see ourselves in a mirror... so that we may awaken to our true nature as
Love and Light... so that we may become conscious of our divinity as sacred
particles of the Divine Creator.
Chiron says that our perceptions of loss, death, destruction
and missingness are illusions... illusions that nonetheless Serve us.
Healing is complete when the original illusion has been dissolved and transcended.
The final healing of the original illusion or wound comes with the acknowledgement
of Gift of the journey that the original illusion and wound took us on.
The essence of this final stage of healing comes in the realisation that
what we thought was missing was never truly missing. It was there,
but in a form that we did not recognise. Let's explore this idea
and ask a few questions that might bring about the shift of perception
required for such healing to take place.
"Nothing is ever truly lost... only the form changes."
Modern physics acknowledges that the quantity of matter and energy
in the universe remains constant... it is conserved throughout space and
time. Although matter and energy in the universe are constantly changing
form, the sum total remains constant and in a state of perfect hidden symmetry.
When an organism dies, its body is broken down into its raw materials to
be recycled and utilised by different forms of life. Often these
different forms of life are part of the biological chain that supports
the existence of the original organism. The death of one organism
supports the birth of another. Throughout natural history the death
of any given species has been the lever-arm for the birth of a new species,
lesser in number and greater in consciousness. In nature there is
never a death without a birth. The evolution of the species is dependent
upon and inherent in this process.
If this Law of death and birth that we find in physics and in
the natural world is a universal axiom, surely the same Law can be applied
in a psychological context. When a person close to you dies, you
grieve for their loss... you feel that you miss their presence, that all
that they were is now gone. If the Law of conservation of energy
and matter is taken as an axiom in this context, then all that this person
was is not gone... their presence and personality has just changed form.
Asking Quality Questions
If this is so, the question then begs asking... if their presence
and personality are not gone, then where are they now? If their form
has changed, what new form have they taken? In order to answer this
question another question must first be asked. That question is a
personal question for you when confronted by sense of grief at the loss
of someone close to you. The question is: "What specifically about
this person do you now miss?" Make a list of every attribute and personality
trait that you miss... everything that you loved about this person.
Make it a comprehensive list. This has the effect, firstly, of coming
to a conscious acknowledgement of the Love that you have for this person.
This represents the first step in the healing of grief... so much of your
grief is based upon unacknowledged and unexpressed Love.
The next step is to take each of those attributes - each quality
of the person that you miss, each aspect that you miss - and ask yourself
the following question: "Where is that quality, that attribute, that aspect
or thing that you miss, now manifest in your life?" If you look hard enough
you will find it... it may be in another person, appearing upon or after
the death of the person that you miss... it may be within you... it may
be in the circumstances of your life that changed upon or after the death
of the person that you miss... it may be a combination of all of the above.
We have said that, in nature, when the body dies, its constituent
parts break down into their original raw materials and are utilised by
other forms of life around it. Similarly, when a person dies, their
presence and personality - the expressing body of the inhabiting Spirit
-also breaks down into its constituent parts, each part going towards the
fertilization and further growth of all the life around it. Every
aspect of the person that you miss so much is all around you from the moment
of their death. So go down your list and continue asking the preceding
questions until every part that you miss is accounted for. Then think
of the person... what is left?
When all aspects of the presence and personality of the person
that you miss are accounted for, only the essence remains... the inhabiting
principle... the Spirit and the Love. When all aspects of the presence
and personality of the person that you miss are accounted for in your consciousness
then that person appears to you, in your Heart.
Dissolving Judgements
Perhaps the most difficult hurdle that we encounter in the process
of healing the wounds of death and loss are our unresolved judgements about
those people or things that have died or are lost to us. Often these
judgements are unconscious, but nevertheless they prevent our Heart from
opening fully and from expressing the Love that, although often deeply
buried, is always there.
Along the same lines, another hurdle is all of our own judgements
about ourselves in terms of what we have done or have not done with respect
to the person or thing that has died or is lost to us. These judgements
express primarily as guilt.
The process of healing both of these types of judgements is
essentially the same. Make a list of those things that you are still
judging about yourself with respect to the person or the thing that has
died or has been lost to you and that you are still judging about the person
or thing itself. List those things that you are still angry about,
that you feel guilty about, and that you have not yet forgiven or accepted
in yourself or in the other. Then, for each one of these things on
your list, ask yourself to following questions: "How did this thing that
you judge, that you are angry about, that you feel guilty about, that remains
unforgiven and unaccepted, Serve you and others on the journey of growth
and spiritual evolution? What were the benefits, the blessings and
the Gifts that this thing brought to you and to others?"
These are not necessarily easy questions. Sometimes our
judgements are so polarised, so extreme, that it is difficult to see any
benefits, blessings or Gifts. The Universal Laws of balance and compensation,
however, require that there be a perfect balance of benefits and drawbacks
to every thing in Creation, to every action, event, circumstance and situation.
It is only our limited consciousness, our lop-sided perceptions and our
polarised and biased outlooks that see things in terms of imbalance, injustice
and imperfection. So continue asking these questions, with the faith
that there is a balance, a meaning, a Service and a perfection in the universe,
until your consciousness of the thing that you are in judgement about begins
to expand and balance out. Then take the next thing on your list
and proceed to ask the same questions.
Sometimes it will be necessary to have a third party facilitate
this process for you... someone with sufficient objectivity and balance
to not buy into the illusions of your judgements and your lop-sided perceptions...
someone with a healing consciousness.
By the time you get to the bottom of your list and all judgements
are accounted for, balanced out and recognised for their Service, you will
find that an overwhelming sense of Gratitude will steal over you, like
the breath of Grace. And then, when you think of the person or the
thing that has died or has been lost to you, your Heart will open even
more and their presence will be with you in that place. You will
begin to experience the miracle of Unconditional Love. You will begin
to realise that, in that space of Unconditional Love, nothing is ever missing,
nothing is ever lost and nothing ever truly dies.
"Death Is the Lever-arm of Life"
For every death there is a birth. This is a Universal
Law. When we feel that something has died within us as a result of a death
or loss in our lives, it is because we haven't yet seen, recognised and/or
acknowledged the form and nature of the birth that simultaneously took
place in us upon the death or loss. Nonetheless, our perception of
death without birth, of loss without gain, Serves to take us on a journey...
a journey, upon which, we become what we are meant to become according
to our Divine Design... upon which, we become what we are meant to become
according to the Service that we bring to the planet. When this Divine
Design and our Service is well enough established, the final stage of our
healing is to dissolve the illusion of death without birth, of loss without
gain, of destruction without equal Creation.
So think back now to the moment of death or loss and scan your
memory from that point onwards to right now. How did your life change
for the better in terms of your growth and spiritual evolution? What
journeys of healing began there? What was born in you at that moment?
In what ways did your life truly begin at that moment? What did this
event help you to acknowledge within yourself that you were previously
not acknowledging or recognising? Continue to ask yourself these
questions until the Plan of your life begins to be unveiled before your
eyes... the loving and guided Plan of your conscious awakening and return
to Spirit and Love.
"Love Is the Synthesis of All Emotions"
Each one of our emotions represents a pale and polarised reflection
of the greater Truth of Love. Each emotion represents a polarised
stance, a misperception, a judgement, a lop-sided perception, an illusion
in comparison to the greater Truth of Love. When all stances, misperceptions,
judgements, lop-sided perceptions and illusions are dissolved through the
healing process, what remains is Love... Love is the synthesis of all emotions.
With respect to the healing of the feelings of grief and loss,
it is these fragmented emotions that prevent us from experiencing the healing
power of Gratitude and Love. It is those things that have been, as
yet, left unsaid, unacknowledged, unresolved and unhealed. It is
our judgements against others and against ourselves. It is our ingratitude
for the events, circumstances, situations and people in our lives that
prevents our Heart from opening to Unconditional Love. Our ingratitude
is based upon our misperceptions of imbalance, injustice, unfairness and
imperfection of the Universal Plan.
When all unsaid things have been said, when all unacknowledged
things have been acknowledged, when all unrecognised things have been recognised,
when we have found Gratitude for all those things that we were ungrateful
for, when we have begun to see the bigger picture and the miraculous plan
of our lives... all that remains is Love. In this space of Unconditional
Love those people or things that have died in our lives or that have been
lost to us are there... truly there within our Hearts. This is the
moment of Healing.
Asking the Quality Questions
Let's re-cap some of the quality questions that can help in
the process of the healing of the wounds of loss and grief...
· What is it that you miss? Where is it now? What
is its new form?
· What was the Gift of the loss or death? What was the
Service? To you and to others?
· Where was the birth at the moment of death?
· What was the gain in the moment of loss?
· What journey did the event take you on? How did it Serve
your growth and spiritual evolution?
· What were the benefits, blessings and Gifts of those things,
to you and to others, that you judge about yourself or about the person
or thing that died or was lost to you?
· In what ways are you the person that you are today, in terms
of your Divine Design, your Service and your calling in life, because of
the event of death or loss?
· When all things have been said, acknowledged, recognised and
been thanked, what remains? At this moment, where is the person or
thing that died or was lost to you? Where are they now?
· Where has this person or thing always lived since the moment
of death or loss? In what way have they always been with you, whether
dead or alive, whether lost or found, whether physically present or absent?
There are, of course, many more quality questions that you can ask on the way to the healing of grief and loss. Every question, however, takes you towards one goal... towards the unveiling of the miraculous and magnificent Plan of your life... towards the acknowledgement, Love and Gratitude for the part played by the people and things that have died in your life or have been lost to you... towards the recognition, acknowledgement and embracing of the Divine guiding hand that leads you eternally towards conscious awakening to your true nature as Love and Light, towards the ultimate Truth of Oneness and of Unconditional Love.
In Conclusion
I have seen enough miracles of healing of grief and loss to
realise that, beyond all other considerations, regardless of the issues,
events, circumstances, situations or people involved, beyond all judgements,
fear and guilt, there is one common denominator: the Truth in our Hearts
is that we Love. The healing journey is the gradual uncovering, awakening
to, recognition of and expressing of that Love. When Love is unexpressed
we experience the feelings of grief and loss. As we work through
these feelings, in the healing process, gradually our Hearts become free
to express the Love that lies within. Love is the only Truth.
All else is illusion and lies. Nonetheless, these illusions and lies
Serve us on our journey of awakening, on our journey of healing, on our
journey back to Oneness... the return to Spirit.
As far as Chiron is concerned, the first cycle of this journey
is only just half complete. The first half of this cycle, from Taurus
through the first six signs of the zodiac, has been about life and the
wounds therein. The second half of this cycle, beginning with Scorpio
and completing the other six signs of the zodiac, will be about death and
loss and the wounds therein. By the time Chiron's first cycle is
complete, some time in the new millennium, Humanity will have a different
consciousness about all issues to do with life and death... a consciousness
that recognises that life and death are mirror images of one another...
a consciousness that recognises the inseparability of the two... a consciousness
that has begun at least to transcend the illusion and the paradox of life
and death. Beyond this paradox lies the essence of all Creation:
Love.
Acknowledgments
I wish to acknowledge my teacher, mentor and fellow traveler
in Spirit, Dr. John Demartini, for the part that he has played in my life
and in my journey to the present day. Much of the wisdom expressed
above comes directly from him and from my journey of healing facilitated
by him in the last several years. Some of the above quotes are his.
Dr. Demartini has developed healing processes that are currently at the
cutting edge of spiritual and psychological practice. Dr. Demartini
has trained me personally in these processes of which I am now a certified
practitioner. These processes are known as "The Collapse Process"
and "The Breakthrough Experience".
©1997 Martin Lass - unauthorized reproduction, copying, distribution or alteration without the consent of the author is prohibited by law and liable to prosecution.